How to Date (And Live to Tell About It)

by Annette Sutherby

Have you ever asked yo'); document.write('urself if there was a way to live through dating without feeling like you are going to go crazy? I know I have. In fact,'); document.write(' I\'ve spent the past five years trying to figure out how to date -- and I still haven\'t got it down yet.

One thin'); document.write('g I do know is that dating is a constant learning experience. No relationship is the same and you can learn from mistake'); document.write('s you make along the way. One thing that I\'ve learned is that dating can almost always be broken down into three easy st'); document.write('eps. Follow them and you\'ll be on your way to a healthy dating relationship!

Step 1: Make sure you are having fu'); document.write('n.

If you are not having fun, then what is the point in staying in the relationship? It\'s a lot easier to do thi'); document.write('ngs that you both like to do, but it\'s almost a given that you are not always going to share the same interests -- and t'); document.write('hat is where compromise comes in. A good relationship cannot be one-sided. You have to do things the other person likes '); document.write('to do even if you don\'t much care for them. On the other hand, your significant other should return the favor.

Ev'); document.write('en when you don\'t like a certain activity, find a way to make it fun. For example, if one of you likes to play pool and '); document.write('it\'s not exactly the other\'s favorite thing, then make even more of a game out of it by placing silly bets (e.g. the los'); document.write('er has to do something nice for the winner). If you truly care about a person, it shouldn\'t be difficult to have fun bec'); document.write('ause simply being with them should be a pleasure.

Step 2: Keep things under control.

These days, when yo'); document.write('u turn on the TV or watch a movie, you see an image being portrayed on how relationships should be. One thing I have lea'); document.write('rned in my experiences in dating is that most relationships shouldn’t resemble the ones we see on TV or in movies. The b'); document.write('iggest difference is... it\'s ok to say "no". Yeah, yeah... I know you\'ve probably heard it from your parents plenty of t'); document.write('imes. But believe it or not, they are right.

You should never feel pressured into doing anything you don\'t want '); document.write('to do -- especially if you\'re not ready. In spite of what TV and movies would have you believe, there are certain things'); document.write(' that should definitely wait for marriage. Until that day comes, whenever that may be, you should probably even avoid do'); document.write('ing things that may lead to doing something you\'re not ready for. For example, if being alone for long periods of time l'); document.write('eads to more intimacy, then always hang out with a group or in a more social environment.

Anyone who truly cares '); document.write('for you will understand and, the majority of the time, they aren\'t really ready either. If the person you are with can\'t'); document.write(' respect you if you say "no", then they aren\'t worth it. I have said "no" in the past and the guys who didn\'t respect my'); document.write(' decision weren\'t worth it. I didn\'t always see it at the time, but looking back it\'s clear. Besides, there are plenty o'); document.write('f people out there who will respect you if you say "no". People like that won\'t pressure you, and they are the people wh'); document.write('o are worth holding on to because, with them, you will be able to keep things under control.

Step 3: Don\'t be af'); document.write('raid to call it quits.

When you find yourself unhappy in a relationship, you can\'t be afraid to admit that you\'r'); document.write('e unhappy and even call it quits. When you stay in a relationship where you are unhappy, eventually neither one of you w'); document.write('ill be happy and you will just make yourselves miserable. It may seem hard -- perhaps even impossible. And you may not w'); document.write('ant to think about calling it quits because you\'re afraid of hurting the other person. But sometimes calling things off '); document.write('can be the best thing for both of you.

Ending a relationship can seem like the hardest thing in the world, but wh'); document.write('en it comes down to it, you have to be happy before you can make anyone else happy. Even if that means calling it'); document.write(' quits with someone you once cared about. And don\'t think that just because you have been with someone for years there i'); document.write('s something sacred about the relationship. Long-term relationships can often become habit, and we end up simply going th'); document.write('rough the motions. Sometimes it takes people a while to figure out they aren\'t meant to be together, even though they ha'); document.write('ve been together for a long time. Those are the relationships where both people are unhappy and miserable and live a lif'); document.write('e full of regret and "what-ifs".

It\'s not worth living your life like that. Everyone deserves to be happy, and ev'); document.write('eryone deserves to be in a happy, life-giving relationship.

Relationships Require Work

Good relationship'); document.write('s take work, and it\'s not always going to be easy. But if you make sure you are having fun, keep things under control, a'); document.write('nd remember that it\'s ok to call it quits (no matter how long you have been dating), then dating will always be a learni'); document.write('ng experience -- no matter how young or old you are. Follow these tips and you\'ll be able to date and live to tell abou'); document.write('t it.

Life Applications:

What do you do to make your relationships fun?
How do you keep things'); document.write(' under control?
Think of a time when it was best to call it quits. What was wrong with the relationship?

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