by Ted Edwards
Massachusetts Catholic Inquisitor

Just a few months after the historic ruling legalizing gay marriage in the state of Massachusetts, a record number of divorces have been filed. State and church officials alike are looking for answers.

"Pope John Paul was right," said Mary Howell, a parishioner at St. Pat's, Boston. "He said that marriage was between a man and a woman and that all this stuff with these gay people was wrong."

Others agreed. "The institution of marriage is being destroyed," said Frank Hamady, also of St. Pat's. "God made Adam and Eve, not Neal and Bob. But at least procreation is out of the question."

One gay parishioner of St. Pat's is regretting the new ruling as well. "Ever since I've been married, it seems like my life is a living hell," said Kevin O'Reilly. "No more clubbing, no more parades. I don't have a job, so my man expects that I have dinner ready for him when he gets home. Don't get me started. Oh, and I'm lucky if he even notices my new cologne or new clothes. The thrill is gone. The thrill is gone."

O'Reilly, along with many other gay and lesbian citizens, got married in Massachusetts. But who is it that is getting divorced?

Carol Rudgers is one of the many women who left their husbands after the state of Massachusetts legalized gay marriage. "I just couldn't stand my slob of a husband anymore," said Rudgers. "It was time to trade in my 'According to Jim' guy for a little 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' action."

Surprisingly enough, Rudgers, who is a 36-year old heterosexual woman, started hanging out in gay bars, hoping to find the perfect mate.

"I just think it was so wrong that they wouldn't let these guys get married," said Rudgers. "It's like treating a highly evolved species of men as if they were second-class citizens. Well, I am here to liberate them. And I'm proud to live in a state that says I can now marry a gay man."

Rudgers has not found a new partner, but she is not alone. A surprising number of women are also employing her strategy.

"I knew my best friend in high school, Rob, was gay," said Laura Persimmons, a partner at the Dulude and Smith Law firm. "We would do everything together. Go to the movies, go shopping, talk on the phone. I was lucky if my husband said two words to me. So Rob, if you're out there, it's me -- Loopy Laura -- and I'm ready to be yours for a lifetime!"

State officials are troubled by the record number of divorces, but are more troubled by why they are happening. "Obviously this just shows that our country still is rather ignorant when it comes to homosexuality," said representative Susan Keegan of the 8th district. "I could see if these women were leaving their husbands for other women; but for gay men?"

One parish priest is just glad that the church hasn't made any changes. "I'm glad that the church hasn't Okayed it yet," said Fr. Timothy Hampton, pastor of St. Lucy's, Boston. "Weddings are hard enough to get through with one mother of the bride; imagine two mothers of the brides!"

Copyright 2004 by Nick Popadich
All rights reserved.