by Joe Stone
Webmaster for www.enoughgeorge.com

Years ago I waited, like the Jews, for the final installment of the saga. I waited for the Messiah of all trilogies to shed new light on what it meant to be a Star Wars fan. Well while you can fool the newbies, this Jedi is still waiting for something better.

No Need For Better Special Effects

One of the really cool things about the original trilogy was that special effects were just starting to be created. They weren't perfect and they didn't look like some type of cartoon. When something exploded it was real metal, wood, and brick being destroyed. It was tactile. There was something guttural about seeing someone fall into the Sarlac Pit in Jedi. You knew that real people were getting bruised up (or at least falling into a trampoline).

The same is true with the Old Testament. It just had that exotic feel. The Garden of Edor (oops, I mean Eden) was just one of the many foreign locations. And like the first Star Wars trilogy, the effects were rudimentary. Frogs, insects, darkness, a river turning into blood -- these are old school special effects tricks that never get old.

Sadly, these just weren't good enough for the New Testament. Everything was cleaner and you couldn't see any of the bad blends of live shots with stop-action miniatures. Jesus just healed people. Can't see? Now you can. Got bad skin? Just let our CGI experts morph you into a super model. But probably the worst example of the danger of enhanced special effects came with the feeding of the 5,000. In the old days, that would have taken weeks to recreate, now it only takes minutes with CGI replication technology.

My point here is that people came to expect more. They wanted easy answers, quick fixes. "Prove that you've got awesome technology, Jesus." But people didn't want to take time to see the miracles all around them.

Characters Not Realistic Enough

Another thing that's wrong with the new trilogy is that the characters aren't as fun to watch. Even though he whined, it was fun watching Luke because he didn't have a clue as to what he was doing. He was still learning, and he was far from a master. On the other hand, Anakin can just throw people into a wall by using the Force.

It's like the Jews in the Old Testament versus Jesus in the New. The Jews were still learning how to be God's people. Sometimes they just didn't get it. In some gospels and religious movies, though, Jesus walks around like some light saber wielding superhero who knows exactly what he's got to do. He's on a mission from God. (Nice "Blues Brothers" reference, eh?)

Also the character dynamics aren't as cool in the new versions. In Episode II there's this whole love theme going on between Anakin and Amidala. It's just gross. It's like how Jesus was all about the whole "God is love" thing and "Love your neighbor." Enough already! How about some action and violence!

At least in the old trilogy when they wanted to show some love scenes, it was confusing, like when Luke and Leia were falling in love, but then you find out they are brother and sister. It's kind of like in the Song of Songs when you get all steamed up reading it, and then you realize it's a love song between God and Israel!

George Lucas Must Be Stopped

He started off with a good idea, but he has ruined it with the new trilogy. He even went so far as to create "special editions" of the old trilogy adding in all these bonus scenes and technology. It is just wrong. The old trilogy can stand alone. George is like the Christians who want to go back and read the Old Testament as if it's all about Jesus, instead of recognizing that it has plenty of meaning all on its own.

I guess there are two types of people in this world: Those who like the old trilogy and those who like the new. Well, I lived with the old for over 20 years while waiting for the highly anticipated new trilogy to come. It just didn't fulfill my expectations. So now it's up to Episode III to really deliver.

But until then, I plan to continue to live in my parents' basement watching the original trilogy on VHS.

Copyright 2004 by Nick Popadich
All rights reserved.