Back off "Big Brother". So long "Survivor". The Catholic Network is planning on stealing your thunder as they step into the "reality" realm this fall.

"We realized that countless hours of masses and rosary devotions just weren't bringing in the ratings," said the Catholic Network President Fr. Louis Blakemore. "Even our home shopping with Sister Salesian is down. We need a miracle."

That miracle seems to have come in the quick talking guise of TV exec Thomas "Skip" Seymour.

"I just tried get them to go back to doing what they do best," he said. "I mean Catholics are known for not having a whole lot of original ideas. Winter Solstice was cool with the pagans so Catholics just put a religious spin on it. So they make December 25 the birthday of Jesus, and I've got to send out a bunch of cards and stand in the back of a church at midnight."

Going under the assumption that many pagan holidays and symbols have been successfully given a Christian twist over the years, Seymour suggested that the Catholic Network do the same -- rework proven successful reality shows into successful Catholic reality shows.

One such show is a remake of "Joe Millionaire" -- except there's a twist. "You see, what's going to happen is that the guy is not going to end up being a millionaire," explained Seymour. "He's going to end up being a priest. We'll say 'ha, we fooled you' and hopefully the woman will donate her prize money back to the Church."

If that doesn't go over well with the audience, then Seymour suggests "Parish Staff Survivor". The staff will have to work together to compete various challenges and each week one of them will be voted off.

Fr. Maxwell Carraway, pastor of Our Lady of Perpetual Blizzards in Beddington, New York likes the idea. "Balancing a parish budget will look like a piece of cake after that," he said.

Other ideas include "Real World: St. Catherine's Rectory Basement", "Fear Factor: Satan", and "What NOT to Wear".

Janice Bolger, a member of the CCW in Beddington, was actually a consultant for the New York based show that very frankly tells people what not to wear to mass and helps provide them with fashion assistance.

"I gave them tips on how to cover the three 'b's," said Bolger. "They also asked my opinion about doing a "What Not to Wear: Vestment Edition". I said I thought the green, red, and white robs were pretty standard and couldn't really be changed. They said that there are just so many other greens out there. I'm not sure what that meant."

Catholic Network hopes that most people will understand the new direction. Although it's too early to tell, the network seems to be getting positive feedback from the test audiences.

"Our mission as Catholics is to get out there into the world and make a difference," said Fr. Max. "That's the only 'reality' there is. And by boosting our ratings, that's exactly what we'll be doing."