It was Saturday afternoon and people were just starting to trickle into their pews for the 5 o'clock evening mass at Our Lady of the Perpetual Blizzards in Beddington, New York.

Little did they know that the wedding flowers that were being put away as they said their rosaries had never witnessed a sacramental union. The bride had backed out at the last minute (apparently she didn't like the way her husband-to-be's mullet was braided) and all were sent home broken-hearted.

All but one -- and he was busy playing the piano.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Pull up a chair -- ah, I mean pew, and get ready to greet his lordship. I'm Carey Kramer and I'll be helping you get in the mood -- that is the mood to praise that one who is so dear to us all, yet so elusive."

Apparently the regular music director was stuck in Ohio with a snowstorm and Carey Kramer was their only hope.

"Yeah, they asked me if I could help out," said Kramer, who normally plays piano at the Jalepeno Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Cantina and Mexican Take-out on Smith Street. "I said sure. I had just lost my gig playing dinner music for that wedding and had nothing better to do."

Being that Carey wasn't Catholic and didn't know any of the church hymns, the night was anything put typical.

"This is my first time in a Catholic Church, so you'll have to bear with me," he said. "But I have watched the Godfather Trilogy many times and Bing Crosby is my idol. Well, except for the beating his kids thing. Anyway, let's get this thing started."

The crowd of mostly older women had no idea what to expect.

"I had just finished my last Hail Mary when I heard him start singing 'Mary Be Our Lady Tonight,'" said Janice Bolger, president of her CCW guild. "I was so delighted. It was sung to the tune of 'Luck Be a Lady Tonight.' Now I can sing to that! What I can't sing to are all of those Protestant hymns that are the same tune with different words each week."

Apparently Bolger wasn't the only one who enjoyed Carey's musical selections.

"I had explained to him before mass that we were celebrating the Ascension and that was the time when Jesus left his apostles," said Fr. Maxwell Carraway. "I was pleasantly surprised when he chose to sing Frank Sinatra's 'Saturday Night is the Loneliest Night of the Week' as a communion meditation dedicated to the, let me see, how did he say it? 'To the Apostles and to anyone who has every lost someone close to them.' It was brilliant."

There was only one misunderstanding that happened during the mass. Due to the small space in the church's sanctuary, the glasses for the Most Precious Blood are always kept on the piano. Carey, not knowing what they were for, placed a dollar in one to encourage others to give.

"That's just what I'm used to. I mean, I usually use a margarita glass, but you have to have a place for your tips," he said.

The ushers ended up giving him a few dollars and the left side of the church didn't receive the Most Precious Blood that night.

As the Mass ended and the senior citizens were swinging to the sounds of "Steppin' out with my Savior," Fr. Max knew he had to sign a contract with Carey Kramer right away.

"He has breathed life into this old parish like none other," said Fr. Max.

Kramer apparently is happy to have a bigger crowd again. "I guess I went from pouring spirits to the Holy Spirit. The Chairman of the Board has got to be pretty proud about that."

Copyright 2003 by Nick Popadich
All rights reserved.