by Alexandria Tuffington
Catholic Consumer Affairs Reporter

Each year around this time, our priests give homilies about how we should keep "Christ" in "Christmas" or to remember that "Jesus is the reason for the season." Well one company has listened.

From PlayGod, the makers of Unleavened Bread for the Easy Bake Oven, comes a new line of toys that commemorate the birth of our Lord. Grandma, you no longer have to worry about your porcelain crèche. Mom, forget about hiding the baby Jesus. This nativity set is kid-friendly -- just the way Jesus intended it to be.

The manger scene itself comes with hay and ten different sounds. The sounds include animal noises and whistling winds; a baby's cries and lines like "I had nothing to do with this, Mary! Let go of my beard!" But the play set itself is really secondary to the figures who play the important roles in our salvation history.

"We wanted to create nativity pieces that kids would really enjoy playing with," said Skip Jensen, one of the top toy engineers at PlayGod.

For the boys, there's Kung fu grip Joseph. Jensen said that the company wanted to remind kids that it was tough living back in Jerusalem at that time. Joseph probably used his Kung fu grip to protect Mary and Jesus from the likes of the lurking King Herod (who, by the way, is also in the set -- giving the children a nasty villain to fight against).

For the girls, there's "Miracle of Birth" Mary. As the name implies, this Mary starts out pregnant and with the push of a button, gives birth to a bouncing baby savior.

"We got the idea for our Blessed Virgin doll from one of our toy testers," recalled Jensen. "She told us that it was a family tradition to go around to all the nativity scenes in the house and lay Mary on her back on Christmas Eve since she was in labor then. We thought that was a great idea. Let's remind the kids what mothers go through and help them see the miracle of life at the same time."

As you may have expected, Mary and Joseph and their new bundle of joy are surrounded by animals. Among the assortment to choose from are Furbys -- cows that grow larger in water -- and Tickle Me Jack Asses.

One group is absent from the scene though. This year, PlayGod has decided not to include the shepherds.

"What with our country bombing Afghanistan, we were worried that the kids might use the Zip-Cord Flying Angels to rain down vengeance on the Osama bin Laden-looking sheep herders," said Steven Connelly, company president of PlayGod. "We have replaced the shepherds this year with friendly Jewish business men."

Another change that was made was in the line up of the three wise men, also known as the three kings.

"Our country has never had a good track record with kings," said Connelly. "We decided that kids might enjoy our version of kings better than the one's who offered gold, frankincense and myrrh."

PlayGod's set of kings includes Martin Luther King, Jr., B. B. King, and the king himself, Elvis.

"The concept is revolutionary," said toy analyst Marvin Hermankowitz. "Martin Luther King, Jr. brings Jesus a great speaking ability for peace. B. B. King brings him that deep soul searching he is famous for. And lastly, Elvis brings him the appeal with the ladies."

If sales go well this year, PlayGod will expand its market next year. Already in the works is a "Where's the Baby Jesus" book, in which the kids have to look on Wall Street, in Israel, and in slums to see where the baby Jesus is hiding.

"We want all consumers to remember that their religion is real," said PlayGod president Connelly. "If they haven't done so already, it's time to take it in their hands and play with it. The only thing to be worried about is the endless possibilities of discovery that will come from actively thinking about why we do what we do -- and why our faith is so awesome!"

Copyright 2001 by Nick Popadich
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