Since the recent attacks of terrorism, many Americans have grown suspicious of Muslims. We here at Faith of Our Fathers have decided to remind our readers that back in 1999, a group of Muslims extremists actually helped defend our faith from the clutches of secular revisionism. What follows is a reprint of our coverage of the story of a Savior painted gay, the Muslims who called for the death of the playwright, and the response of two churches here in the United States.

by Patty Johnston
Faith of Our Fathers

"Jesus." His very name brings to mind images of a strong, masculine Savior. In fact, his name means "God saves."

Sadly, nothing could "save" Terrence McNally's play Corpus Christi from biblical inaccuracy and outrage on the part of several religious groups. While Christian demonstration against his play has proven relatively small, an extreme Muslim group has issued a death sentence on the playwright should he every set foot on Islamic soil.

The play in question casts the Jesus character "Joshua" as a homosexual who has offstage moments of intimacy with his apostles. He is later crucified as the "king of queers."

Keeping the Faith

"This type of freedom of expression will not be tolerated," said Bud Kruyer of Christ the King Church in Wisconsin. "Using biblical stories to preach an agenda of tolerance goes against everything they were created to do."

Kruyer, along with others of the organization "Citizens for Straight Saviors," have started a national boycott of Corpus Christi. They also want it to be known that Jesus was a very manly man.

"Jesus was the ultimate outdoorsman," commented Stan Blemichek of CSS. "He was always out fishing or wandering in the wilderness. It takes a real brave man to stay out in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights."

40 Hour Week for a Livin'

Others look to his occupation as a defining sign of his masculinity. "The very fact that he was a carpenter proves that he was not gay," pointed out Ben Stevenson. "Monty Python might have made us question the sexuality of Lumber Jacks, but without a doubt, carpenters are men that act like real men."

While some may argue that Hollywood is not filled with "real men", Stevenson used one of Hollywood's leading men to make his point. "Take Harrison Ford," he said. "He was a carpenter before becoming a movie star. Is anyone calling Harrison Ford gay? Should we just change the sly Han Solo or the risk-taking Indiana Jones into flamboyant sissies? I don't think so!"

Citizens for Straight Saviors' main goal is to keep Jesus' image intact.

"Let us not forget that Jesus hung out with hookers," reminded Kruyer. "Name me one pansy who does that -- other than those who hung out at Studio 54 -- and I'll denounce my male-dominated religion."

Don't Rain on Their Parade

Of course, there are churches that have embraced the message of McNally's play. Parishioners at Peter the Rock Catholic Church, San Francisco, have started Catholic "Pride" marches.

"It's nice to know that Jesus was actually on our side," gay Catholic Don Vinite said. "All this time, people have been quoting scripture to persecute homosexuals. It's about time we used it to stick up for ourselves."

In fact, the gay parishioners at Peter the Rock say that they have many reasons to believe that Jesus was homosexual.

"Well first of all, honey, he 'called' men," said Val Linley, a transvestite. "You conservatives like to remind of us of that when you want to keep an all-male priesthood, but something seems fishy when you realize that Jesus choose to be around 12 men all the time!"

The gay community said that they felt akin to Jesus because of his message of passive resistance and the persecution he felt for living his life the way he knew he should.

"Obviously, Jesus was like Barbara out there saying, 'Come on, we're all just people. People who need people.'" said Fr. Ron Steigler, a "liberated" priest who is currently under investigation. "Like Judy, he said, 'Forget your troubles, come on get happy.' The people just weren't ready for it yet. Sometimes I wonder if the day will ever come when this world is ready for that message."

Hopefully this polluted message will not be embraced anytime soon. Faith of Our Fathers looks forward to joining together with extremist Muslims and Christians to make sure that Jesus stays just as white and middle class as the day he walked the streets of Israel. We mean Palestine.