My Office As My Heart: An Examination Of Conscience

by Jacki Setta

My office is currently in a state of disarray. Actually, calling it "disarray" would be far too generous. Chaos would probably be a more accurate choice of word. Ordinarily, this would not be too big a problem, but the Bishop will be visiting our parish on Sunday morning, and right now it's Friday afternoon.

So here I am, sifting through stacks of papers I haven't looked at in months, sorting the pop cans the youth group has collected from our meetings this year, when all of a sudden, I had a startling revelation. What would happen if I were to die tomorrow and my heart was as ready for the Lord as my office is for the Bishop? I could be in some trouble here.

Now, I don't know for sure that the Bishop will be looking in my office as he tours our school for its Open House, but I want to avoid complete and utter mortification if he does. So I'm doing a little fall cleaning. My heart could probably use a little cleaning as well.

Look At This Mess!

No, it's not Lent yet -- it's not even Advent -- but that doesn't mean that this isn't a good time for some Reconciliation. As I look around my office, I notice that it's cluttered. This clutter usually keeps me from being able to focus on whatever my task at hand is.

What kind of clutter do I have in my spiritual life? What is keeping me from focusing on my relationship with God?

Evaluating My Interior Decorating

I have a lot of decorations in my office: pictures of friends, kids in Youth Group, posters, a scooter. How much of that decoration is faith oriented?

What have I done recently to bring God not only into my office, but into my life?

Moving on to my bookshelves, I notice that they aren't organized as well as they could be. How about my priorities? How well have I organized them recently? How well have I organized my time? And how does God fit into these organizations?

Have I Told You Lately That I'm Sorry?

Oh boy, my trash can is next. Very scary. When was the last time I cleaned the garbage out of my heart and apologized to people I've hurt through my words and actions?

Eastern philosophies believe that our outward environment is a reflection of the inner balance of our mind and spirit. We will be messy on the outside if we are messy on the inside. How messy am I on the inside?

My Office is Clean, Now What?

So now that I've brought this clutter up to a point where I can get rid of it, it's time to take the next step: find myself a priest for reconciliation. What's really funny is that the sacrament I hated most when I was a kid is becoming one of my favorite sacraments today.

For me, reconciliation is not just "confessing your sins," it's about recognizing the patterns -- in my life, my faith, my relationships -- that aren't healthy or that harm me or other people. When I can bring them to light, I can change them. Once I know I can change them, I start to feel better.

Sure, the Bishop probably won't stop in my office on Sunday. But keeping my office messy -- like keeping my soul messy -- is a chance that I'd really rather not take.

Life Applications:

What is cluttering your spiritual life?

What are you doing to bring God into your life?

What are your priorities right now? How does God fit in? Does God fit in?

Copyright 2002 by Jacki Setta   
All rights reserved.