Back to School Adjustments

by Brandon Jubar

It's that time of year again -- time for cooler weather, football, and back to school shopping! When there are younger children in the family, it can be a very exciting time of year. But keep in mind that the excitement brings changes for everyone, and often those changes tend to go hand-in-hand with stress.

Pressure On Parents

Going back to school usually means that it's also time for sports and other after-school activities. The minivan becomes Mom's Shuttle Service, and parents spend their time shuffling kids from one activity to the next. Fitting everything in to an already hectic schedule can be a nightmare.

And it's not just the added travel load, either. The fact that we have to significantly change our daily routines can have an effect as well. We tend to be creatures of habit, and we feel comfortable doing at least some things the same way each day. So when our familiar rituals are disrupted, we begin to feel a bit uncomfortable with the situation.

Kids Get Stressed Too!

As a parent, I can sometimes forget that this time of year can be hard on our kids as well. In many cases they're going from the laid-back, laziness of summer, to a bustling, non-stop whirlwind of activity. A common consequence is that our kids end up getting minimal "down" time, less sleep, and the sleep they do get can be less restful than during other periods.

It's also easy to assume that kids will be back to the same routine, so they'll be more comfortable. But we need to realize that the start of the school year may be the same in certain ways, but in many other ways it is completely new. Our kids may have different lockers, different classes, different teachers, and different friends available to hang out with. It's the same school -- but that may be about it!

All of those things can cause our kids to feel stress. Unfortunately they don't recognize it for what it is, and we don't always realize it either. If my boys start acting up, I usually just write it off as being "wound up"; when in reality, they may actually be "stressed out".

Take a Teamwork Approach

A certain amount of stress may be inevitable, but there are things we can do to help each other adjust. And the first thing is to acknowledge that we're stressed. Like many problems, simply identifying it can take the wind out of its sails and make it easier for us to cope.

The second thing we can try is to get the family together and think about ways to help each other. I can hear you already: "Oh no! Not a 'family meeting'!" But before you disregard this idea, consider what might happen if you discussed things with your kids. If acknowledging stress can help diffuse it, imagine what dissecting it with a verbal scalpel might do. By being logical in our approach, we can often leave the emotional baggage behind.

Third, and most importantly, we need to cut each other some slack. Stress is pretty much a fact of life. So if the best we can do is control it, the least we can do is not be so hard on each other as we struggle through.

Heading back to school can be a fun time of year, so let's try to keep a positive outlook. Stress is not impossible to handle. And it's even easier if we work together with the members of our family.

Life Applications:

What was it like for you when you went back to school in the fall?
Do you see your kids getting stressed by the changes?
What are other ways you can combat stress?

Copyright 2004 by Brandon Jubar
All rights reserved.