by Brandon Jubar

Teaching teenagers about morality is no simple task. As we discussed in Part I of this series, when parents share the teachings of the Church with their children, they should not candy-coat the truth. The goal is not to make morality conform to a teen's way of thinking. The goal is to teach our teens to think critically and make good, moral choices that conform to the teachings of the Church -- which are the teachings of Christ.

But preaching the Gospel in all its honesty and power is only the first step. We must then move on to its practical application to everyday life. It's not enough to simply talk about the Gospel -- we must teach our teens to live it.

Discussing moral issues at a conceptual level with your teenager is simply not enough. Parents need to point out real-life examples in today's culture and discuss the moral implications of various courses of action. Better yet, parents should address actual issues being faced by their teens.

Many parents would be overjoyed if the media refused to disseminate anything that is not morally upright and wholesome. Unfortunately, the media is not in the business of challenging people to do things that they do not desire to do. Because of this, the media tends to be the major purveyor of moral relativism, often disguised as political correctness.

Parents need to be very clear with their teens because movies and television bring to life specific perspectives on issues. Although the fare is mainly fiction, the "lessons" taught almost literally come alive. We need to face the same issues and provide true to life examples that support realistic options.

As a parent, it is tempting to try to shelter our children from "bad influences." Unfortunately, such attempts are often ineffective in this media age. Virtually any musical recording or film is obtainable for download on the Internet. And it's not uncommon to have some enterprising young computer genius download objectionable films or music and pass copies around school. With the Internet on the verge of ubiquity, attempts at sheltering our children are in vain -- and are perhaps detrimental.

One problem with sheltering our teens is that we may be setting them up for a rude awakening. The world is full of bad influences, and if we hide our teens from these influences, what will happen when we're no longer there to protect them? Having had no experience dealing with certain issues or situations, a teen could end up overwhelmed and might end up making poor choices.

Another problem with sheltering our teens is that we can end up creating taboos. The teens misinterpret our intent and assume that we do not talk about certain issues because it is wrong to even mention them. The problem, of course, is that our teens turn elsewhere for advice on those very things that we hoped to protect them from!

All things considered, it is better for parents to engage head-on these difficult issues that are so improperly addressed through the various media outlets.

Educating by inoculating is an interesting concept. It is much like a vaccine, which introduces minute quantities of a virus into a body so that the immune system can learn how to combat the virus. If we, as parents, present to our teens issues such as premarital sex, illegal drugs, or violence in small, manageable doses, we stand a much better chance of teaching them to face these things on their own and make good choices.

So take the time to discuss with your teens the issues raised by popular media. Go toe-to-toe with moral relativism -- the idea that morality is situational and decided by the individual rather than by God. Stand strong against the lure of pop culture. And provide your teens with concrete examples of good, moral decisions that are based upon the Gospel and the teachings of the Church.

For if we do not support our teens with firm guidance on moral issues that effect their daily lives, we can be certain the void will be filled by someone or something else. That's not a risk I would advise taking.

When you talk about morality with your teen, is it conceptual or practical? How so?
How much should you shelter your teen from the negative influences in the world?
How hard is it to talk to your teen about moral issues such as premarital sex, illegal drugs, or violence?