"If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions." Matthew 6:14 (NAB).

In recent years, there has been a change in the way people treat each other. If you need evidence of this, go to any courtroom. There you will see neighbors who were once friends, or even family members, sitting on opposite sides of a case.

Where Has Compassion Gone?

Maybe someone cut a branch off of a neighbor's tree when it encroached onto his or her property, or a branch fell during a terrible storm, smashing a picnic table in the process. Why is it that instead of going over and making sure that all are well, people start seeing dollar signs and demand payment for the damaged property?

Where has compassion gone? Were they not concerned about the health or well being of their neighbor? Is the tree or table more important than the personal relationship that is forever damaged?

We have become selfish and sometimes cruel. Why is this? Are friends so easy to come by, that no one cares who they hurt anymore?

A House Divided

I, for one, find all of this quite disturbing. I hear of children carrying weapons to school, and worse still, using them. My heart cries out to God at times like these. It is so easy to hang on to our anger, to stifle our souls in self-pity and self-righteousness. At what point did Americans lose each other? When did we cease to be "one nation, under God, indivisible"?

We are divided. We are divided in our homes, by electronic devices that keep everyone busy, but seldom together. We are divided in our workplaces, sometimes physically by walls, but at least by self-importance. We are divided in our government, where so often no one knows what anyone else is doing. We are divided from our neighbors by fences -- or choices.

How long can America stand divided?

Selfish or Selfless?

One theme stands out here -- one of self. We are so involved in ourselves that we don't reach out to one another. Not even in our own families.

If someone angers us, we demand an apology. Courteousness seems to be a thing of the past. If a driver is rude, he runs the risk of dieing for it. Why be rude in the first place? Why not merely forgive the offending party, rather than killing him?

If a neighbor fails to keep his dog chained, why not say something to him, instead of taking him to court? It has gotten so ridiculous, that it's become a joke. The fact of the matter is that we have to laugh in order to keep from crying about it.

If we are teaching our children by example, then many of us are teaching them to be merciless and selfish. What will happen when we must someday depend on their mercy and selflessness? Now that's something to think about!

If we do not teach our children compassion, then what can we expect of them? There is no room for self-pity, self-righteousness or other selfish feelings in a heart that is filled with the Lord. If we want mercy, we must show mercy. If we want compassion, then we must offer it rather than demand it. If we want forgiveness, Jesus says we must forgive.

The Risks of Being a Friend

It's not easy to throw away the bondage of self. It requires caring for others. It requires a restructuring of thought. No longer can we place ourselves in the number one position. No longer can we be our own top priority.

There is, of course, a bright side to placing others before ourselves. Eventually they may learn from us and do the same. When we go visit with a neighbor who has just lost a pet, instead of kicking back to watch a favorite program on TV, we run the risk of having that neighbor return the favor. Who knows? Perhaps some day we'll find that person volunteering to pick up our kids after school, when we are too sick to go get them.

Basically, we run the risk of making a friend. We take a chance on being forgiven when we do something wrong. And we find ourselves in the position of possibly changing someone's opinion -- or their life.

Let Go -- And Move On

It's easy to hold on to anger -- for a while. But the angry heart is like stone, and is not flexible. If our hearts become too full of anger and hate, then we have to start taking it out to make room for more. And we take it out on anyone.

The wonderful thing about mercy, though, is that it is flexible, and the more we practice it, the easier it gets. A heart full of mercy and kindness has little room for anger. It doesn't have to be taken out, though. It can be removed by forgiving.

And forgiving is much less stressful -- and less painful -- on everyone involved.

So let's begin to change the way we treat other people. Let's start with dialog and then do all that we can to keep things out of the courtroom. Let's be good neighbors and better friends. And let's show love and compassion to our family members in hopes of ensuring that we never find ourselves on opposite sides of a legal battle.

"Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from all evil. Amen."

Life Applications:

Why do you think so many people see dollar signs when something goes wrong?
Describe a time when you were selfish rather than selfless.
What qualities make a good friend?
Is it easy or difficult for you to forgive? Why?