Don't Cry, Momma

by Angie Ledbetter

A Child's Letter

Dear Momma:

I wish I wouldn't have seen you crying, Momma. I wish I could have taken away all your pain and sadness and hurts. Mommies should be happy! It's not fair that you aren't!

Daddy said that you will be fine after a while. Do you think that he is right? Daddy also says that I am pretty just like you, and that I have your mouth and beautiful green eyes. It makes me feel good to hear stories and things about you, because I want to remember you always.

Lots of Questions

Momma, I want to ask you a question. There are so many things I don't understand, even though Daddy always has time to stop and give me a big hug and try to explain them to me. I guess it's just that I want to talk to you, too. Is it okay if I ask you a few things?

Do you miss me as much as I miss you? Do you remember how it felt so wonderful when you put your arms around me and we rocked back and forth? I do! Those are the best things I can remember! I liked when we would go to church because it was so warm and quiet and peaceful. Sitting on the park bench together was fun too. I remember all the good times we had, just you and me! I can tell that you enjoyed it too. You're not tired of my questions, are you?

The really big thing I want to know is why did you have to go to that hospital place? Did someone make you go there? Were you sick? I was so scared for you, Momma, because you cried and cried for a lot of days before you went there. I'm mad at those people! Did they hurt you? I could hear you crying and calling me "Peanut," even though you didn't know that I heard you. I wanted be with you and talk to you so bad! I was so scared and hurt when they made me leave! It must have been lonely by yourself in that room with all those machines.

It'll Be Okay

Daddy says it's not right for me to be mad at those doctors and people, because they were only doing their job, but I can't help it. Momma, those people took you away from me! I don't understand why we can't be together any more! Daddy says that I can pray for you, and so can Uncle Bobby, and Grandma Rachel. They are sad for you too, and pray for you a lot. They tell me stories about when you were a little girl. I like that, but I am still sad that I can't be with you or hear you singing to me any more.

I have a lot of friends who lost their mommies too. We play together and sing a lot. Daddy says I have an angelic voice when I sing. If I sing so good, why do I see him crying sometimes? Do I remind him of you? I guess he misses you, too! I just hope I'll understand these things some day.

Needing Reassurance

Momma, I have just a few more questions to ask you before I go. Momma, do you love me as much as I love you? If you do, why didn't you run away from that terrible place? Why wouldn't you let me stay with you? We would have been okay.

I heard you ask that doctor man if I was going to feel any pain. Momma, he lied to you. It hurt so bad -- but not as bad as my heart breaking. I didn't understand why you wouldn't stop him! I guess you just didn't know.

But, I'm fine now, Momma. Daddy lets me sit on his lap -- and the other angels here are fun. We pray for all the mommies and daddies who go to those awful places, and like I said, we sing a lot too. I hope I will get to see you again some day. Then you can hug me tight, and Daddy will hug you too. He knows how it feels to lose a baby. Some mean people killed His son, Jesus.

Goodbye, Momma

Before I go, I want you to do me a favor, okay? Please think about me and tell other mommies not to go to those awful places. Tell them to stay with their little babies and watch them grow up. None of us baby cherubs want to see you cry so much. And, yes, Momma, it really is me! Daddy let me come talk to you in your dream so you can tell others about me.

Momma, I love you and I forgive you. But don't forget to tell others, okay?

I know you hurt too, but Daddy says that if you go back to Church, you will start to feel better. He says that He will be there waiting for you. Momma, I'd really like that! Bye-bye for now!

I love you.

Life Applications:

Were you surprised by the story's end? What instances in your own life can you think of where things didn't turn out as you'd planned or expected?

What do you think an unborn child would say to its parents if it were about to be aborted?

Have you shown appreciation for your own parents' or loved ones' sacrifices and care lately?

Copyright 2002 by Angie Ledbetter
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