The Weather is Beautiful, Wish You Were Here

by Aaron Jubar

As you read this, imagine me kicking back under a palm tree on a lonely, deserted beach somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico. Not that I'm gloating, but I think after this past week I deserve a little R&R with my new wife. Oh, what the heck, just imagine you're here sitting next to me, cerveza in hand. I won't mind the company since, after all, I am only a figment of your imagination.

Being married for less than a week now, I feel confident enough to pass along some of the infinite wisdom I have gained. So sit back and soak up my words as you would the hot Caribbean sun, for I would like to share my fresh outlook on weddings and the union of not just two people, but two families.

First, can I offer you a margarita? Salt with that? Be careful not to drink it too fast, I don't want you getting "brain-freeze"...

Family Foibles

Most of us spend our first 25 years trying to figure out our immediate family. We learn everyone's mannerisms and zany, little quirks. We learn how to deal with stressful family situations, and how to handle ourselves in a pinch.

Then, just when you think you've got everyone figured out, along comes your future spouse. And along with your future spouse comes a brand new family. Since most of us can't delay 20 years to slowly absorb this new family, we get a crash course of about three years in dealings with the in-laws-to-be.

The best thing to do in this situation is trust your future spouse, for she knows her family as good as you know yours. And although she might be a bit biased, when it's all said and done she's the one best equipped to deal with any in-law issues.

Try a piece of fresh mango on this fruit tray, it's delicious...

So how does one make it through the ceremony without curling up in the fetal position on the altar, or bolting out the back door? Well, back in the day, the father of the bride used to employ the help of his good buddy Winchester. Winchester was actually a double barrel 12-gauge that the father-in-law-to-be would nestle between the shoulder blades of any unwilling groom.

Thankfully, they don't allow firearms in my church. And besides, I was more concerned about her bolting than me (but that is a story for another article). So how did I make it through the big day without embarrassing myself? Well, let me tell you...

Conjugal Counsel

First off, I reminded myself that it is just one day -- one big day mind you -- but still only one day. Remind yourself that the help of numerous individuals and many hours of labor have gone into this day.

Secondly, I made up my mind to take everything in stride. Any small oddities will only make the day that much more memorable for you and all your guests. Wedding days truly are a time to "not sweat the small stuff". Nothing -- and I mean nothing -- will ever be perfect in either the ceremony or reception. Murphy's Law rules, so be prepared for a few unforeseen glitches on your special day.

The third and most important thing I did at my wedding was pray. Yes, contrary to popular belief, weddings are about faith and love. I definitely didn't want to forget the Big Guy who brought us together many years ago.

Refill on that margarita?...

Marriage and Mediation

In a new marriage, the most important word is 'love'. Right behind 'love', at a close second, is 'compromise'.

Believe me, a day or two after tying the knot you may be asking yourself, "is this the same person I was engaged to for all those months?" Beginning the moment you step off the altar you'll be searching for middle ground.

So brush up on your diplomacy skills, because you're going to need them for at least the next 60 years. All jesting aside, learning to compromise will help you both build a better life.

Check out that group of dolphins surfacing off shore...

Honeymoon Harmony

But I digress. It would be improper of me to talk about marriage without talking about the ages-old tradition of going on a honeymoon. When one normally thinks of a honeymoon, one thinks about tropical beaches, ocean cruises, and expensive getaways. (Okay, I'll admit, that's where we are right now -- in a veritable paradise.)

Still, it's important to remember just what a honeymoon was meant to be: a period of harmony immediately following marriage.

Reflect upon your vows and the commitment you made to each other and to God. It may be difficult with all the distractions such as snorkeling and wine tasting, but try to work in a little bit of prayer-time on your honeymoon.

Now dig your feet underneath the sand...

The All-New Family Man

Essentially, I am now a "family man". Webster would define me as simply: "a responsible man of domestic habits".

Somehow that definition just doesn't do me justice. Allow me to redefine 'family man'.

Family man noun 1. A married man who must now put the toilet seat down or suffer the consequences.

And I can't think of a better way to begin my life as a family man than sunning myself on the white sand of St. Croix's beaches.

Life Applications:

If you are (or have been) married, what do you remember most about your wedding day?

If you have never been married, what do you want your wedding day to be like?

Do you agree that a marriage brings two families together? Why or why not?

How do you compromise with the one you love?

Copyright 2002 by Aaron Jubar
This article has been provided by ParishWebmaster.com