I don't really care to watch any of the popular "reality" shows that are flooding the airways these days. They are so ridiculously contrived that I even hesitate to use the term "reality" to describe them.

What I do enjoy, however, is listening to the morning deejays discuss these hokey shows on one of our local radio stations!

I get highlights of the shows -- or perhaps "lowlights" is more appropriate -- comments from listeners, and some hilarious commentary, too. All this without having to endure the actual shows themselves.

These morning commentaries do one other thing as well. They show just exactly how misguided many people are when it comes to their understanding of relationships.

The other morning, the deejays on a local radio station were talking about "The Bachelorette" and her struggle with choosing one of the two remaining guys.

The male deejay said, "She says it's going to be a difficult decision because she's in love with both of them. That's ridiculous! You can't be in love with two people at the same time!"

His female counterpart responded, "Oh, I don't know. I think you can. Haven't you ever had feelings for more than one person at a time?"

"No," he said. "Not those kind of feelings. I just don't think it's possible to feel that way about two different people."

But soon after, they talked to a caller who agreed that you CAN be in love with two people at the same time. In fact, she said that she is going through it right now. Of course, her husband doesn't realize it...

Whoa! Wait a minute. I think we're missing something here.

Let me start by making sure we understand that we're not talking about the love we have for our children, family members, or God. We are talking about what is commonly known as "romantic love".

Yes, there is definitely an emotional component in "love", but it is SO MUCH MORE than that.

I'm not a doctor -- and I don't play one on TV -- but I know that our emotions are internal responses to stimuli, usually involuntary, and they are normally accompanied by physiological changes. By their very nature, emotions are fleeting.

"Love", on the other hand, is a choice. We are choosing to act a certain way towards another person. We are choosing to commit ourselves to that person, regardless of how we "feel" on a given day.

When I tell my wife "I love you", I am not merely saying, "I feel all tingly inside right now." When I tell my wife "I love you", I am saying...

I choose you.
I commit myself to you.
I will be kind to you and care for you.
I will put your needs before my own.
I will stay with you whether I am happy, sad, angry or in any other mood.
I will never leave you.

No fleeting, physiological response should change that. Loving someone is not about maintaining that butterflies-in-the-stomach, sweaty palms, heart-pounding emotional state that we often experience when we first "fall in love".

That state cannot be maintained, especially since it's mainly involuntary!

Can you "love" more than one person at a time? Sure... if you define love as simply an emotion. It's not improbable or unnatural for more than one person to produce the stimuli necessary to invoke that response in us.

But if you define "love" the way that I do, then it's NOT possible to be in love with more than one person. You can only commit yourself fully to a single person. If you spread your commitment around, then you don't truly love anyone.

Love is a choice...
    ...regardless of what "reality TV" would have us believe.

Peace,
Brandon