 |
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
On A Personal
Note...
Come As You Are? There is an old saying that goes something like this: "Throw stones into a pack of dogs and only the ones that are hit will yelp." Well, my editorials from the last two weeks have caused an awful lot of yelping! ;-) However, I am happy to say that the positive comments far outweighed the extremely negative ones. And some of your feedback has pointed out related issues that will need to be dealt with if we are to truly become a welcoming Church. Weighing in on my shabby clothing anecdote, author Joan Anderson wrote: "People should be welcomed at mass no matter what they are wearing. But I would like to point out that many people do dress in a -- shall we say -- tacky manner when attending church. (These same people would never go to a wedding in a Disney World t-shirt and cut-offs.) And tacky dress often leads to tacky behavior." I agree. Mostly. When I was a teenager I most certainly would have gone to a wedding in a t-shirt and cut-offs -- if my parents had let me. Not that I blame parents for everything (being a parent, I'm a bit sensitive to that), but come on! Some of the outfits I see...! Now keep in mind that I tend to be somewhat conservative in my theology, but fairly liberal in my worship. I see nothing wrong with a decent pair of jeans and a polo shirt; or khaki shorts and a short-sleeve shirt. Clothing does not have to be grubby in order to be comfortable. Personally, I want to look decent and feel comfortable and relaxed when I visit our Father's house. In my humble opinion, being welcoming and setting reasonable expectations are not mutually exclusive. For instance, teens tend to dress in order to make a statement. What the particular statement is may often only be ascertained by listening to the teen. Not condemning, reprimanding, scolding or preaching to him or her. If I don't know a teen and I tell her that her shorts are not appropriate, the message that might be received is that I've judged and condemned her, that I'm an old fuddy-duddy, that I don't like teenagers, etc. On the other hand, if I tell one of our youth group girls that her shorts are not appropriate (which I've done on retreats before), she might grumble and complain, but she gets the intended message. She knows and respects me, and she knows that I respect her as well, so I can constructively address issues like this. I think the first step is to accept people unconditionally. Earn their trust and respect, and THEN set conditions. There is absolutely nothing wrong with reasonable expectations, but there has to be a foundation on which to set them. So let's suspend our judgment and start by being welcoming. And as Joan pointed out in her email, if we set expectations in a kind, loving manner, people will most likely give us what we expect. But let's give them more than they expect first! Peace, Sound off! Tell me what you think! Copyright 2002 by Brandon Jubar |
|||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||
